Harare Review of Books

330 pages.

First published Feb 14, 2023 (Catapult)

Non-fiction anthology.

“What do women want?”

If you’ve been lying awake, cracking your head over this, or if you weren’t entirely convinced by the 2000 Mel Gibson movie, this is the book for you.

In truth, answers are as varied as women are, and the list of possible desires at least as long as the list of people you ask. This collection of 33 essays includes the following: dreamed-of lives, pleasure, food, sex, babies, cars, time, respectful gardening, partners (singular and plural), places, exes, personal acknowledgement, solitude, craft and lost loved ones, kleptomania, control, drugs, religious experiences—in short, the whole gamut of human experience; or, at least, as much as can be fit into 330 pages.

Some of these essays are light; a few are unmemorable. Most are powerful and deeply personal. Many are searing, and will cause you to put the book down for a while (—trigger warnings for rape, childhood sexual abuse, and similar themes). Some go back and forth on their subject, clarity waxing and waning as desire does in life. All are astonishingly brave in their frankness.

My favourite essay isn’t about a woman at all: Amanda Petrusich‘s incisive How I Got Over, on the life of poet and Trappist monk Thomas Merton, who was split in two by his opposing desires, is a fascinating and profound read.

An excellent exploration of women’s lives and interiority, Wanting features a range of diverse voices. The people in these essays are broken, irrational, gloriously and heartbreakingly human, their stories wild, messy, unresolved. The sum of the parts is a thoughtful and nuanced view of the world. You may see yourself in Wanting. You may feel affirmed. You may walk in someone else’s shoes for a time. What is likely is that you will have your view of the world adjusted just that tiny fraction.

Read with: The Sex Lives of African Women by Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah, also an excellent anthology of diverse women’s voices.

Thank you to Catapult for this excellent ARC!

What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? The world would split open. —Muriel Rukeyser

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