Harare Review of Books

304 pages.

First published Sept 12, 2023 Currency/PRH)

Non-fiction.

It’s been more than 24 hours since I finished this book, but I’m not any less gobsmacked. In fact, I don’t think one is meant to get one’s head around the incredible mess that is crypto—which, at the very best of times, seems the very definition of a circus. Made-up coins with ridiculous names like Polkadot and Smooth Love Potion (and Web3 Inu, Trump coin, Potcoin, Putincoin, Garlicoin, Mafia Doge…)? Check. A former child actor and presidential candidate (lol) who, for some reason, calls himself a doula for creation? Check. Heaps of people in need of money essentially gambling and participating in Ponzi schemes to enrich crypto bros? At this point, why not: Check. An elusive former plastic surgeon and alleged pirate of Microsoft software, who’s now head of the company with the longest-lasting and seemingly most stable (questionable) stablecoin? Check. Ridiculously expensive cartoon apes, and ridiculously exclusive Ape festivals? Ok? Check. The Bahamas? Venezuela? The Philippines? Check. Drugs, the money laundering, and…uh…human trafficking? Um, wait, what? Check.

“I’m not going to lie,” Sam Bankman-Fried told me.
This was a lie.

Zeke Faux is determined, even obsessive as he tracks down some of the most colourful characters in crypto, and as he tries to make sense of what is ultimately nonsensical but “hilariously” lucrative. It isn’t easy. These characters are hard to pin down, and, except for the notorious SBF (Sam Bankman-Fried, who becomes Faux’s main subject) not very forthcoming about their activities or liability. Are they true believers? Who knows. Are they changing the world? They may tell you they’re making the poor rich (capitalism’s greatest con), but evidence shows they’re most assuredly not, on balance. Are they getting rich? Sometimes, maybe, wildly so, and usually only for a time. Does it sound like a giant gambler’s paradise? Mostly, yes.

Bankman-Fried’s SFX crypto exchange collapsed spectacularly in November 2022. He’s due to stand trial from October 3, 2023. So far, he’s pleading “I made a big boo-boo” so we’ll see how that goes. In the meantime, read Faux’s well-written and head-spinning investigation, and ask yourself, like I did, what the future’s going to be like.

Thank you to Mason Eng and Currency/PRH for access.

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